Welcome To Existance
by BackTo1955
Summary: Not finished yet. She didn't have self confidence. He didn't have a nice bone in his body. Jamie would change them forever.
1. Chapter One

**Introduction:**

_-1956-_

_I tugged at my hair, desperately wanting him to say something to me. The rain came pouring down on top of us, but at the moment I didn't care. We were both standing outside my house after he walked me home, waiting for something to happen._

_Finally, something did happen. Will reached for my arm and started to pull me closer to him. He had a mischievous smile on his face, that smile that used to make me sigh and smile when I saw it. He leaned in closer to me, and as he did I felt my stomach twist into a knot. I closed my eyes anyway, trying to ignore it as best I could. Even though Will and I had kissed before, it was a long while ago and it wasn't the type of kiss I wanted._

_His other arm moved up my side until his hand reached my head. He hid his hand in my hair and held my head in the right place, and I suddenly forgot about the rain as he kissed me. I started to panic at the last minute, but just as our lips met I started to calm down, which made me feel relieved. I had dreamed about this moment since I started high school, and now it finally was happening in real life._

_I shouldn't take all the credit for this. Although Will and I had spent a lot of time together over the last few weeks, we didn't fall in love by ourselves. At first I was the only one in love- Forbidden love, I called it. Will was the tough guy on the block, the boy who bullied people like me around. Although he never came near me, I used to watch him pick of people in school and at the diner. I could never feel angry with him, because of my strange liking to him, but every night I'd go to bed wishing I did something about his bullying. I felt guilty that I was in love with such a mean person, and then I felt even worse when I realized I only wanted to stop him so I was in love with the right person. I tried to convince myself that I was trying to stop him because it wasn't right to bully others around. Somehow I never got the feeling that this was the real reason._

_Another thing I felt bad about was I wasn't brave enough to stand up for myself and the others that were bullied. I was the shy type, and I certainly wasn't the type to stand up to a bully a few inches taller than me._

_I never understood why I was in love with this boy, either. I knew it was just a crush and would go away for a few years, but I started to worry when I still watched him walk into the diner after two years. We never spoke two words to each other, but I felt that I knew a lot about him by just listening to his conversation._

_Our lips separated, and we continued to stand together, soaked to the bone. I started to shiver after the warmth of the kiss faded, but he wrapped his arms around me shortly after, and I felt as if everything was all right. I leaned my head against him, and suddenly a strange thought came into my mind._

"_How did a boy like Will fall in love with a girl like me, anyway?" I'm sure you had the same question. The answer isn't a short one, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the story._

_Our story began in December of 1955, after the traditional Christmas play. I was seventeen at the time, while Will was close to turning eighteen. He didn't exactly realize he was in the story until around February, but I'll get to that part of the story later. At the point in December, only two people were included. Me, and a younger girl I had never met before I saw the play. She was around fifteen at the time, only two years younger than I was. I didn't expect her to cause such a change in my life, but she did._

_She was the reason Will and I fell into real love, and her name was Jamie Sullivan._

(The other chapters will be much longer but this was a short introduction.)


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter One:**

_-1955-_

My friendship with Jamie began when I was in her father's Christmas play. Of course, back then I wouldn't have been a huge part of the play. I was too shy and soft spoken. That was the way I was with Jamie at first, but she seemed to accept that I was quiet. We did talk, however, about several things.

One topic was the play. Jamie told me how much she liked the play, and I told her I enjoyed working on it. Having this conversation was the reason why it was such a horrible experience for what happened next. It wasn't until after a few weeks of rehearsal, and we were nearing the opening night. I was beginning to become comfortable with talking to Jamie, and I was disappointed that I found it hard to feel that comfortable again after that afternoon.

"I... I'm sorry Jamie." I said awkwardly. It was the only thing I could get out of my mouth. We were all at rehearsals, only to find that several of the set props had been stolen. At first we thought we had misplaced them, but after spending half of the rehearsals looking for them, the teacher instructing us finally sighed and announced they must had been taken.

Several students agreed to try to find them before they left. I was one of them, but I had no clue what I would do if I did find them. I figured I would take them over to Jamie's, so before I left I asked for her address.

"I just want to know where the right place is to bring information." I said, and she smiled at me.

"Thank you for helping," she said. I just nodded, but she didn't seem to mind. I felt terrible about the whole situation, and I wondered how her father felt, but it became much worse for me when I headed home later that evening.

I passed a graveyard that used to always creep me out on my walks home, but that night I heard voices. Sometimes my imagination got the best of me and I heard moans and voices of sadness, but that night I heard a few laughs and a couple snorts. When I stopped in my tracks to listen, I realized that the voices were male, and also sounded familiar. At first I wasn't interested in who was sitting and laughing in the cemetery, but then I heard a snatch of conversation and forced me to stay.

"...Now all we have to do is damage some of this stupid play props, and then we can bring it back."

My heart leapt at first, because I knew they must have had the stolen props, but then it quickly sank when I figured it must have been troublemakers that were laughing and I'd probably would be pounded down into the ground if I stepped in there and demanded to know why they had property that didn't belong to them. I tried to walk on and forget about it, but I started to feel guilty, and I knew I couldn't leave them to be destroyed. I thought I would be able to go to Jamie's house before I went home to tell her what I heard, but when I looked up I saw that the keeper of the voices- three boys- were standing a couple of feet head of me, and if I walked by they would see me.

I started to feel sick to my stomach as I thought of what they'd do to me, especially if they saw me in my nice school girl ensemble. Before I even finished my horrible thoughts, I was couching towards the ground, hidden behind a tree, holding my breath as one of the boys said,

"Hey, did you see something?"

"Where?" said another one.

"Over there."

There was a small silence except for the sound of moving leaves, but I stayed put. I didn't want to attract any attention.

"Nah, I didn't see anything." The familiar sounding boy said, and I almost fell over in relief. I remain crouched, and somehow I knew I'd have to wait here until they left. It was either that or take the long way home and possibly be seen.

"Well..." I thought to myself. "They didn't see me when I was walking towards them..."

I turned myself around, and tried to walk quietly in the other direction. I was still worried about the props they had, but I thought that there might be a chance I'd pass Jamie's house if I went the long way. I doubted it, but what else could I do?

It wasn't until a moment later that I realized who the voice belonged to. "Do you think we'll get caught, Will?" said one of the other boys, and something in my brain clicked just as a twig under my shoe snapped. The boy who I thought I liked was the one who had taken the props, and he was planning to destroy them and finally give them back for the play. My heart sank even lower, as it usually did when Will did things like this. I never thought of doing anything about it, to be honest, because I knew I wasn't an object in his troubled world, even though he was an object of my troubled one.

When I finally escaped and found my way to Jamie's house, I couldn't help thinking about the play, and how they were going to ruin it. I knew boys like them liked to play pranks to ruin people's day, but I had never thought they'd go for the play. Half of me was surprised they were so clever, and the other half was scolding me of thinking so. By the time I got to Jamie's house, I almost forgot where I was. When I shook my head and cleared my mind, I knocked, forgetting that I didn't know how I was going to tell her and her father what happened.

Jamie was the one who opened the door, and when she saw me she must have thought I had the props, because her eyes lit up. "Hello Maria!" she said cheerfully. Then she stepped away from the door. "Come in!"

I shook my head slowly. "I'm sorry, I have to keep this quick." she looked a little disappointed.

"Oh. All right," she then smiled again, which surprised me. "Have you found out anything?"

"Kind of..." I felt my face grow red in my embarrassment. I didn't even know what I was embarrassed about. "I... I..." Jamie was very patient with me as I eventually got the story out. I didn't say any names, but she seemed to see that I was hiding something. I'm also pretty sure that she knew why I hadn't taken the props from them. She didn't pressure me, however.

"Well," she said when I was finished. "If you didn't see who took them, I guess we'll have to keep our eyes open for them," she gave me another smile. "Thank you for letting me know, though."

She watched me nod and look at the ground, and once again she saw that something more must have happened. I could see it in her eyes, and I knew that whenever she looked at me after that, her eyes would be asking me to tell her what I was hiding. My mouth wouldn't open that night, however, and instead I turned to leave. She watched me leave, but she didn't call me back like I thought she would. I heard the door shut and I knew she had gone to tell her father what she had heard.

(Future chapters will be longer than this, too.)


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Two:**

I started to become anxious when the opening night came closer and closer. I had to tell someone what was going on, but I knew I'd feel terrible about getting Will in trouble. He didn't know who I was anyway, so what was the trouble? Sometimes I would convince myself that it was the right thing to tell Jamie, but when I started to walk over to where she was standing I'd change my mind and turn around. It was like this all rehearsal (without the props) until I decided to ask Jamie what she would do if she was in a situation like mine. I was careful to give it away. I tried to make it sound like what I was talking about had nothing to do with the missing props.

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "It must be in the Lord's plan. He must want this person to do something about it."

My heart sank. Just by looking at Jamie I could tell she knew what I was talking about and she knew that I would have to be the one to do something about the lost props. She must know everything, I thought.

"What if the person really likes this other person and doesn't want to hurt them? What if the person really wants the other person to notice them and like them?"

She shrugged. "What if when the person fulfills the Lord's plan the other person will notice her?" she gave me a smile as I looked puzzled. "And like her?" Jamie left me to think about what she said, and I did, but I still wasn't sure about what I was supposed to do. I couldn't picture the situation turning into what Jamie said. If Will ever found out that I was the one who turned him in, he'd probably kill me.

When everyone started heading home, Jamie came over to me and I was still biting my nails over the situation. I thought she was going to say something else to me, but all she did was smile and pass. I sighed in relief, but it wasn't the kind of relief I needed.

On my way home I noticed that some people were in the graveyard, but it wasn't Will and his friends. I assumed that it was a few people working on the play who heard about the props being in the graveyard. They didn't see me, though, and I was happy for it. I found myself wondering where Will and his friends had put the props on my way home, which was, by the way, the only time I really liked to think about personal things. My mind usually wandered while my feet took me where I needed to go.

By the time I got home my mother almost had dinner ready. She smiled at me as I came through the door, and when she noticed I had to force a smile she asked, "Did you have a bad day?"

"No." I said without looking up.

"Any news about the missing props?"

I was planning to lie to her every time she asked me, but today I had to ask for help. It had been a few days since the props were stolen, and they might have been damaged all ready. All this time I had wanted to find a way to get them back without getting Will into trouble, and I figured maybe my mother could help. "Kind of," I said with a sigh. "I know someone who saw the group who took the props, but she's not sure if she should turn them in or not." There, I thought. That was good.

"Well, isn't it a bit much to know all along who has them but not say anything?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Oh yes. It is. She thinks that she might ruin the chance she ever has with that person, though, if she does turn him in." My mother luckily didn't realize that I was talking about myself.

"I see," she said with a smile and a nod. "Well, I think your friend should just follow her heart. If she thinks the person is worth carrying that awful knowledge around all day, then maybe she shouldn't turn him in. Though I don't think whoever this person is worth it."

I considered what my mother said, and I knew she was right. Will was not worth all this trouble. Did I really have a chance with him anyway? I knew if I didn't tell anyone, I'd probably regret it.

"Thanks," I said, smiling at her. "I'm sure my friend will like that advice."

"Anytime." she said.

After dinner I followed my mother's advice and headed over to Jamie's house. I was in a better mood then, and I even found myself smiling on the way there. I was finally going to let this all out, and it would no longer be my problem. The idea of Will finding out who squealed on him had vanished from my mind- at least for the rest of the night.

"Jamie!" I said when she opened the door. She seemed surprised to see me stop by her house again, but then she smile.

"Hello, Maria," she said. "Come on in."

This time I did step into her house. I was too eager to look around and notice anything about it, though. "I have something to tell you."

For the next few minutes I told Jamie about how I knew who had taken the props all a long but I was nervous about turning them in. When she asked me why, I had a feeling that she knew why, which suddenly made me feel nervous. How did she know? Knowing that she somehow knew something, I decided to tell her why.

"I..." I tried to start my confession but it wouldn't come out of my mouth. I had never told anyone about Will, and I guessed that's why it was so hard. "Well, I have... sort of... maybe..." I looked up and, to my relief, Jamie was being patient. "I really like Will-"

"Are you friends?" she interrupted me. I knew she wanted to know everything I had to say.

"Well... not really... He doesn't even know who I am..."

Jamie looked a little confused, and I wondered if I said something wrong. "Do you know a lot about him?"

"Well... yeah. He hangs around at the same diner I go to, but I stay out of his way." I tried to explain. She finally nodded her head in understanding.

"So you've never talked to him before?" I shook my head, but she surprised me by smiling. She sat down on her couch and patted the seat next to her. "You can sit down."

"If you really like him," she continued after I sat down. "Then maybe you should talk to him."

"I... I can't do that!"

"Why?" I knew that she couldn't possibly know hoe bad Will was, but I was a little mad at her. I mean, he HAD stolen the play props, hadn't he?

"He's... he's so mean and... horrible." I finally said, resting my chin in my hands.

"I'll pray for him, then," Jamie said with a smile. "And for you."

"What would you be praying for?" I asked, hoping it wasn't a stupid question. She only smiled at me and said, "For him to do something good."

I sat there, silent for a moment. It was a few moments before Jamie said, "It never hurts to just say 'Hi,' Maria."

"I know... I'm just..." I didn't finish my sentence, but Jamie didn't seem to need the ending.

"I'll pray for you then, too."

I was about to leave a few minutes later, but before I walked out the door I turned around and asked Jamie, "Will Will get in a lot of trouble?"

"He needs to face the consequences," Jamie said quietly. "But don't worry."

That night, before I went to bed, I tried what Jamie said she was going to do. I prayed that something would happen that would make Will realize what he was doing was wrong. I didn't pray that we would end up together, because I thought it would be too soon for that, and at the moment I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to be together with him anyway. I did like him, but after my talk with Jamie I realized that I probably didn't know as much as I thought I did about him.

The next day I was out at Cecil's Diner with my friend, Patricia, and that's when I finally realized that Will was furious at whoever had ruined his prank. He came storming into the diner, and the moment I saw him opening the door, I started to feel sick to my stomach, and it wasn't because I had been planning that I was going to say hi to him sometime soon. I felt sick because I was afraid he'd find out I was guilty.

"All right," he said to the crowd of us, who had suddenly gone quiet. "Who did it?" News traveled fast in our neighborhood, so most of the teens there knew what he was talking about. "Come on," he said as he circled the room, looking at everyone's faces. "No one likes a party pooper, do they?" Several people nodded in agreement- only the ones who enjoyed Will's pranks and the ones too scared to disagree. Will's head finally turned to where I was sitting, and for the first time in his life, he stared at me.

I must have gulped first, then I probably started to shake, and then I probably blushed. I lowered my eyes, but I still saw him suddenly lean back, and his face changed in his realization. He continued to stare at me curiously, and I wondered why he hadn't yelled at me yet. Instead, he turned to look at one of his friends, and then he nodded towards the door. "Let's spilt."

The whole room waited to sigh in relief until after he left. No one seemed to think it was strange that he had just suddenly decided to leave, so I decided not to. I wondered why he was looking at me so funny, but I decided to forget about it, since the only reason I could think of was he realized it must have been me and he was going to wait until I was alone to teach me a lesson. That's what he always said to people at school when he was under the eyes of teachers. I guess I deserved it- I hadn't done anything to stop him.

"That was odd." Patricia said.

"I know... he just... split." I said, taking a sip of my drink.

"No, I mean, the way he stared at you for such a long time. I wonder why..."

I hadn't told her that I turned him in, and I wasn't about to just then.


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four: **

I stayed in the diner until it was dark, scared to death that Will would grab me when I walked out the door. I didn't realize that if I stayed until everyone left, Will could still come inside and kill me until after I was alone. I watched the clock for a few minutes, trying to relax. When I was finally convinced he wasn't going to come in, or hopefully wasn't even waiting for me, I bravely got off of my seat and headed towards the door and the dark world beyond it. Maybe it would be so dark he wouldn't see me when I walked home.

I was immediately proved wrong when I stepped out onto the side walk and heard soft voices talking in the corner. At first I thought it was a group of kids that had just left, but when I looked over at them I saw the jacket Will always wore and his shoes. I lifted my gaze and found that he was staring straight at me. He had a smirk on his face as he leaned against the wall, apparently not listening to a word his friends were saying. He elbowed one of them, and then tilted his head towards me and they all stepped away from the wall.

_Oh no!_ Like any smart person would do, I turned around and continued to walk towards my house, trying to act as if I hadn't noticed they were following me. That's just what they did, in fact- follow. The boys seemed to be keeping in stride with me… not falling behind or catching up. I didn't dare look back at them, but it sounded as if they were a few yards behind me. Knowing that Will was following me made me started to blush, and I could feel my face become hot. Knowing that he wanted to give me pay back made me feel sick to my stomach.

Once I got to the graveyard where they had hid the props in the first place, a sudden but strange idea popped into my head. Could I possibly go into the graveyard, find a short cut home, and lose them? I could hide somewhere in there, couldn't I? It seemed like a perfect plan, but when I went inside my jacket caught on the door.

"I having bad luck today." I mumbled to myself, trying to tug my sleeve away. It took many tugs, and I finally got it off before the boys came too close, but in my nervousness I tripped and fell. Obviously my shout gave away my position.

"Well, look at what we have here…" I heard Will's familiar voice as they surrounded me. I didn't want to look up at them but I had no choice. One of his friends kicked me in the leg and said, "Get up."

"Hold it, you don't want to be that harsh. She just fell." Will's hand suddenly came into view, and I could see him bending down as if he wanted to help me up. _What?_ Bullies never acted this way. His face was shadowed so I couldn't tell if he still had that smirk on or not. Thinking that I had nothing else to do, I took it.

The moment our hands touched I could feel myself blushing again. I had a dream once where he helped me up like this, but it was much more romantic. Here, in real life, I started to sway dizzily when I was up on my feet again, and I could see Will smirking again. My heart sank.

The next thing that happened was some of the other boys started pulling on my dress, asking what the heck it was and why it didn't look half as beautiful as the other dresses they saw at the school dances. It was an awkward experience, and, to be honest, the only thing I thought of was it might rip. Don't get me wrong, though. I knew they were doing this to make fun of my pathetic body and school girl clothes. The truth was, I always tried to make myself look cute, not beautiful. I knew I couldn't be beautiful if my life depended on it.

While all this happened I stood there, horrified, not knowing what to do. Will seemed to be inspecting me while they did this until he finally commanded them to stop. Before I could think of how odd this was, however, he spoke again.

"You're not in that Christmas play by any chance, are you?" Will asked, walking in a circle around me as he asked his questions. I stared straight ahead with my hands folded within each other in front of me.

"I…" I tried to say something but my voice wasn't working. All of this was so strange. Now that they actually caught me I wished they would just hit me and get it over with. Maybe they knew that was what I wanted and they were just making me uncomfortable.

"I already know the answer anyway," he went on after a few moments. "You're always with that guy's daughter… what's her name again?" he paused. "Ah, never mind."

I took this chance to look at him, and I noticed that he looked confused. Did he confuse himself often? And how did he know I was with Jamie during rehearsals?

"Well, knowing that you're in that dumb play…" to my horror, he put his arm around my shoulder and started to pull me in the other direction, taking me further into the graveyard. I could hear his friends snickering behind us as they followed. "We need to have a talk."

He waited for me to answer, and he was actually patient as I tried to say something. After many attempts and a few gulps, I said, "Oh?"

"Yeah…" I felt his arm slipping off, but instead of taking it completely off he kept it there and put his other arm near my hand. He grasped it, and started to rub it slowly with his thumb. In my dreams this always made me relaxed, but at that moment I never was so nervous in my life, and I was sure I wouldn't be able to hear a word he said because of my beating heart.

Next, he put his face very close to mine, as if he was going to kiss me. I think he wanted me to look at him, but I kept my eyes downward and my head pointed downward so I could see the ground. When he was finished, he started to speak again.

"You do know about the prank me and the guys were playing, right?"

"Yes," I managed to say, but I was so distracted about being so close to him that I almost didn't know what he was talking about.

"Do you know anything about who squealed on us?"

That time I didn't answer. I knew the longer I stayed quiet the longer I'd be stuck here, but I kept my mouth shut. With ever second that passed he kept getting closer to me. Finally, when it must have been five minutes but felt like an eternity he said, "Come on. I know you know. I'm just asking a simple question."

Maybe he didn't think I did it. Maybe he thought I _knew_ someone who had ratted him out.

"I know you know," he said. "I see it in those pretty eyes of yours." I started to blush but he only smiled sweetly- no smirk this time. Why was he doing all of these things to me? He was extremely close now, and I could hardly breathe. My heart was beating so loudly that I couldn't hear his friends snickering from behind us.

He moved both of his hands upward now, so he was covering my ears with them. I started to get dizzy again. It felt so much like a dream…

"Well…" I started to say. "I'm sorry," I felt so bad at what I did all of a sudden. "I… I did it. I'm sorry."

Everything else that happened happened so fast- I could hardly remember it all by the time I got to Jamie's. She was the only friend I could think of.

Will paused, and then he shouted, "I knew it!" he pushed me back onto the ground where I stumbled, but luckily I didn't crash into anything. His friends started to point and laugh at me, and when I looked up at Will, he smirked, but he looked very angry.

"I'm warning you. I don't know how you found out about what we were doing, but if I find you spying on us, I am going to make you wish you hadn't, and then I'm going to make you wish you had never been born- Even if you are a girl," he looked down at my feet and then back up at my face. "I doubt anyone would miss you anyway." With that, he jerked his head towards the entrance and he left with all of his friends, leaving me alone on the ground. How could I have been so stupid?

Next thing I knew, Jamie was opening her door with a surprised but pleasant smile on her face. "What are you doing here so late, Maria?" she asked. It was then that she noticed my face was red from all the tears I had cried on the walk over there. I wiped my eyes as she let me walk in and sit on her couch.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"Will and his friends found out when he went to the diner and I guess he knew I… I liked him because he used it to his advantage… He…"

She looked at me sadly as I paused. "What happened?"

I told her what happened slowly, trying not to leave anything out. I couldn't stay long, though, since it was getting very late and I hadn't told my mother I would be late. Jamie insisted I'd call her, but I really didn't want to call her. When I was ready to leave, Jamie gave me some last words of advice.

"You should stick up for yourself, Maria," she said to me. "Don't let someone like that let you down. You did the right thing."

"I know," I said softly. "But…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't think she heard me anyway. I tried to give her a smile, and then I turned to leave. Just as I stepped outside Jamie said something that made me stop.

"Maybe this is all in the Lord's plan, though."

"Well, what do you think his plan is?" I asked, turning around to face her again.

"Well," she looked up for a moment as she thought. "Maybe all of this is part of a plan to change Will's ways, and maybe yours."

I was startled when she mentioned me. "What? What did you say?"

Jamie sometimes surprised me, and this was one of those times. She smiled a smile that said she knew something I didn't. She didn't tell me what it was though. "I think it's time for you to get home and get some rest. You've had a rough night." I watched the door shut in front of me, and that was when I realized my mother was in the car behind me, waiting to drive me home.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five:**

"Did you have a good weekend?"

I yelled in surprise and turned around, staring at Jamie fearfully. "Oh… hi Jamie," I said, and I grimaced. "I thought you were someone else."

We were both standing outside the school, but several students were starting to enter.

"Are you still worried about Will?" Jamie asked. "I thought you said he wasn't going to bother you unless he catches you spying on him?"

"That's what he _says_. I mean, can you really trust a bully?" Jamie only smiled. "Why are you smiling?"

Jamie looked over at me, not looking her cheerfulness. "Well, even if Will did attempt to do something, you should be able to stand up for yourself, right?"

I didn't answer right away. "Right?" she repeated. Again she was patient with me as I took a while to answer.

"Maybe."

As we headed into different directions, I realized that Jamie had faith in me- faith that I would stand up for myself. I didn't believe I could do it, though. Even though I got a hint of hope when I practiced saying hello to him, this was much harder. I did practice, in a way, over the weekend, but I didn't become hopeful. Didn't she know that Will would probably knock me out if I tried to stand up to him? It was like he said- _even if you are a girl._ Will clearly didn't care that I was the opposite sex, and it was probably because he didn't think of me as a female he'd ever be romantically interested in.

At lunchtime, Will and his friends must have been waiting for me. They were sitting where I normally sat in the lunchroom, acting as if there was nothing strange about it. They were laughing and talking, but they stopped when I approached. I stopped and stared at them a few feet away.

"What'cha waiting for? Aren't you going to sit down and eat?" Will asked with that smirk on his face again.

I glanced around the lunchroom for a few minutes without saying anything. When I was finished surveying the area, I looked back at Will and his friends and- for the first time- I looked at him in the eyes. I couldn't help it. He had such wonderful eyes…

His friends started to laugh stupidly again, and I suddenly felt a new emotion rise inside of me as the sound reached my ears. It was anger. Truth be told, I had never been angry at someone before.

His friends kept laughing as Will and I stared at each other. I never knew I could stare at someone for so long. Finally, after I was sure it had been five minutes, I broke our gaze and turned and sat at the next table. Although other people usually sat there, they weren't there at the moment.

"Hey, you don't want to sit with us? That's insulting!" Will said. He still had that smirk on so I knew he was joking. I sipped at my drink as he got up and headed over to my new table on his own.

"You didn't really believe what we said the other night, did you?" he said. "You know we were just joking. No hard feelings about the… you know…" he looked around the room as if he was checking to see if anyone was listening. "The stealing the props thing."

I took a bite out of my sandwich and kept him guessing until after I swallowed. My anger was making me feel rebellious. _Maybe I should take Jamie's advice…_ "Well, I didn't believe that stupid 'Those pretty eyes of yours' act you pulled the other night, but about what you said after you pushed me…" I drifted off.

"You should know us by now... We like to play pranks…" he tried smiling innocently as I finally looked up from my lunch. I sighed and sat against my chair, smiling a little as we stared at each other again.

"You didn't believe my little school girl act that night, did you?" I asked, and when I noticed the confusion start to spread across his face, I smiled more. Isn't it strange what anger could do to you? I knew I was angry at his friends for laughing at me, but I was mad at Will for doing all those things to me last night, then pushing me into the dirt and then trying to do it again- in _school_. Well, I had news for him. I didn't feel like that school girl anymore.

"Maybe we're more alike than we let ourselves think…" he said, and he leaned on his elbows on the table. His friends were still laughing. It was as if they thought I couldn't hear them.

"Don't opposites attract?" I asked, and then I picked up my drink again. I think the boys were starting to get confused, because the laughing was starting to die down. Onlookers were also looking confused- It looked like they were waiting for something to happen. They were waiting for Will to play his prank on me.

"Well, I guess we'll have to find out." Will said, and his smirk came back.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, and I put my drink back down, which was a mistake. I could see Will coming closer to me, but this time I was ready. Well, at least I thought I was. I knew he was going to try to charm me again, but not in the way he did.

"Well, we are mostly opposites, right?" Will asked, still coming closer, though he still didn't take a seat.

"Right," I said slowly. Then, before I could do or say anything, he made his move. I don't think he meant to kiss me- I think it just turned out that way by accident. I think his first idea was to act like he was going to kiss me, in front of our whole grade, and then he'd probably yell, "I KNEW IT!" again and let me face embarrassment as everyone laughed at me and he'd announce I was head over heels in love with him. He'd then watch me cry lime I had done the other night, and I'd probably run out of the school. That's what he wanted, and that's how most of it happened.

He leaned in on me, still leaning on his elbows, but I stayed put. It was only when he came too close that I jerked forward at the last minute. It was one of those moments where your body moves when you don't want it to. The sounds of his friends died out, but I realized a second later that it was because they had stopped laughing. My heart started to beat loudly again, and my anger vanished- just like that- and was replaced by nervousness. While we kissed I forgot that we where in the cafeteria, in front of everyone.

Then, of course, I suddenly remembered that this was my first kiss, and I was getting it from Will. It had to be a trick. I tried to pull back or push him away, but when I tried to I suddenly didn't want to. Liking him for so long caused that.

Even though it felt like a long time for me, I'm sure it wasn't longer than a few seconds. He was the one who pulled away, and when he did he stared down at me, looking confused yet again. I could tell he was trying to think of something so he could still go on with his prank. My heart sank when he looked as if his light bulb had gone on. He stood up straight and turned to everyone in the lunchroom who had been watching. His friends stared stupidly, and everyone else seemed to be holding their breath. "You need kissing lessons." he finally said. That was all he could think of.

The whole room burst out into laughter at that, however. It wasn't good if you weren't a good kisser at this age these days. I felt my face start to burn. I had already blushed from the kiss, but now it was much worse. Although an actual kiss wasn't in the plan, I think it worked out better for him. Now I would be in worse embarrassment now that he announced I was a horrible kisser. None of the boys would ever want to kiss me from now on, and everyone would have a long lasting reason to make fun of me. My life was ruined, and his mission was complete.

Jamie, with a smile on her face once again, greeted me when she caught up with me after school. We were walking out the door, but I didn't say anything. I was trying to fight back my tears.

Will was waiting for his final attack on the side walk. I tried to find another way I could walk home, but there was none. I had lost the anger that made me rebellious in the beginning of lunch, and there wasn't room for it. All I could feel was humiliated, hurt, cheated, and lost. I tried to walk bravely past him, but a bunch of new friends he made surrounded me before I could break through.

I stopped as the circle closed around me and I stared at my feet, and I could feel the wind blowing my hair back, only so they could see me blushing.

"Aw, is it little Blushing Beauty?" one of his friends jeered.

"Yeah, without the Beauty part." Someone else said, and they all started to laugh at me again. I didn't say anything, and I didn't move.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, pushing himself through everyone else. It was then that I noticed he was tallest of the group. "You don't have any more of that attitude you had at lunch?" he smirked again.

"Hello Maria!" I heard Jamie's voice. She had come to save me- or to try at least. She squeezed herself into the circle and smiled cheerfully. Will looked at her with a stupid and confused expression, but it went away soon enough.

"Go away," he sneered. He still didn't remember her name. "This don't concern you."

"I just wanted to join in the conversation," Jamie said. "I didn't know Maria had so many friends."

I groaned softly. Jamie should know these weren't my friends. I think she did know, but she had a plan in mind that I had no clue about. A few people started to chuckle.

"This chunk of bad news?" Will asked, pointing at me. "She has no friends," he suddenly let out a small laugh. "Expect for you." The way he said 'you' started to make me a little angry again. I wanted to tell him not to insult her.

"Maria is a very nice person," Jamie said, sticking up for me. "I'm sure she has a lot of friends. If she didn't, she wouldn't have so many people around her, would she?"

Everyone started to laugh again. "People like her don't have friends!" Will said through his laughter. "They only have friends that are bigger odd balls than they are…" he nodded at her, and I knew exactly what he meant. My heart sank even deeper, but my anger was starting to overflow again.

"Will…" I whispered.

Will kept on laughing at Jamie and me as if he hadn't heard me.

"Will…WILL!"

"WHAT?!" he roared when he finally heard me, and then he whirled around to face me as if he was surprised I said something.

"Why don't you just be quiet for once?" I asked. He only laughed at me, but everyone around us had gotten quiet.

"Who's gonna make me? You two squares?" he pointed to me and tilted his head towards Jamie. Jamie had gone silent, and was only watching me.

"Maybe." I said quietly. He laughed again.

"Yeah right."

"I'm warning you." I said, starting to get extremely angry.

"…Like you could do anything to me… You're just a-"

"SHUT UP!" it was so unlikely that someone like me would say something like that, that most people actually looked around, trying to figure out who said that. Will's eyes actually, widened, but he wasn't surprised for very long. I was so angry that I liked his surprised look, and I wanted to keep it there. Before I knew what I was doing, I pulled back my fist…

"Oh… my…" whispers erupted around the circle as I threw my fist into the side of Will's face. Jamie gasped and looked startled, but I closed my eyes before I saw anyone else's reactions. Pain throbbed in my hand, and I knew it must have been much worse in Will's head. He started to tip backwards, but the students behind him caught him as he fell unconscious. I peeked my eyes open again, and took a last look at what I had done before I let out a sigh and turned around to leave. No one followed me, and I was sure it was because they wanted to make sure Will was all right. Even the ones who didn't like him very much bent down to help him. At the moment everyone forgot about the kiss we shared in the lunchroom. Everyone but me.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six:**

It wasn't until later, much later, that Jamie told me what happened after Will woke up after my punch. She stayed as long as she could, trying to help, but when she realized he didn't need nor want help from her, she turned to leave.

"Hey, You!" he yelled out after she walked a few feet. She didn't know if he was talking to her or not, so she continued to walk. She did have a name, after all. Finally he managed to stand up, and, although he staggered, he chased after her.

"Hey you!" he repeated, and then he grabbed her shoulder and turned her around. Caught by surprise, Jamie gave him a shocked look, but it turned into a grimace when she saw the bruise on his face. Before she could say anything about it, however, he yelled at her once more. "You're that girl she hangs out with. Tell me, what the hll is going on with her?"

"What are you talking about?" Jamie asked kindly, even though he was yelling at her. He sighed angrily, and looked as if he was going to swear some more. He didn't, though- at least, not out loud.

"First of all, she ratted us out-"

"It was the right thing to do-"

"Then she starts mouthing off to me in the cafeteria-"

Jamie continued to interrupt him, but he didn't seem to be listening. "She looked a little upset…"

"Then he punches me…" he swore as he touched his bruise. "And she also… she…" he swore again, as if he couldn't get the words out. Jamie watched him struggle for a few minutes, and she was truly patient, but she turned and started to walk.

"Walk with me." she offered, and he obeyed. "Say what's on your mind."

"It may be easy for you, but it isn't for me… especially with all these people here, listening." he said, running his hand through his hair.

She smiled and laughed a little. "It doesn't look like anyone's listening."

It was true. Jamie had told me that everyone that surrounded him earlier were now going their separate ways, and didn't seem to care about the punch anymore. Will sighed again as they walked. "It's still not as easy… She just… well…"

Jamie sensed his nervousness. "It's all right," she said softly. "I won't laugh."

As Jamie explained it, it seemed as if Will was surprised by what she said. He stopped in his tracks and studied her, trying to figure out if he should trust her. "She… kissed me in the cafeteria."

Jamie did look surprised, but she didn't laugh. "She did? Why?"

"Well…" for the first time, Will looked embarrassed. I was even surprised by this when Jamie told me. "Me and my friends were… kind of… making fun of her…"

"I see…" Jamie frowned and started to walk, but she beckoned Will to follow her. He looked left and right, as if he was crossing the street, and then he followed. "She doesn't like how you make fun of her like that." she said.

Will shrugged. "It was just for fun. That's what guys like me do."

"It doesn't sound like fun to me." Jamie said, looking over at him.

He snorted. "You're not like me…"

They were silent for a few moments, until Jamie said, "She's a nice girl, and a good friend. She really likes you too," Will brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes, as if he had a very painful headache. Jamie went on. "You should treat her better- no matter who you _think_ you are."

"What am I supposed to do? We are totally different people… she's such a… a square."

"You could try to get to know her." she suggested with a smile.

"How the hll do I do that?"

Jamie ignored his language and said, "There's nothing wrong with saying hi."

Will snorted, but when Jamie looked over at him, she could tell he was thinking about it. She smiled and looked away, not caring if he saw or not. Jamie stopped in front of a house, and waited for him to say something. For a moment he actually looked uncomfortable. He finally shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

"So… this is your house?" he asked.

"No," Jamie said with a small shake of her head. "It's Maria's." After that, she walked up the stairs to my door.

She still didn't tell me about this when I answered the door and let her in. My face was red, puffy, and wet, and I felt ashamed. She didn't seem to mind, though.

"Are you all right, Maria?" she asked. I rubbed my eyes and nodded. "Yes," I lied. "I'm fine."

"That was some damage you did." she said, but she didn't smile.

"Is he ok?" I asked hurriedly, but then I blushed. "I mean, did I hurt him?"

This time she smiled. "You hurt him, but he's all right- a little surprised…" she gave me one of those smiles that I didn't like- a mischievous one, like she knew something I didn't. "He wants to talk to you."

I was startled. I knew he didn't want to talk to me… he wanted to kill me. I shook my head. "I can't."

"Yes you can!" Jamie encouraged me. Tears started to form in my eyes, because I knew she had faith in me. She had faith in me, but I couldn't do it. I was too terrified of saying something stupid, or wrong, and getting humiliated again. It was always my fear. It was true that I could do almost nothing right.

"You can at least stay in the play."

"THE PLAY!" I had forgotten the play. She only smiled.

"I've seen your costume. You'll look beautiful." Again Jamie had that twinkle in her eye, but I had no clue what she was thinking.

I nodded, but I didn't believe it. I let out a sigh, but Jamie seemed to know what I was thinking. She went back to our discussion about Will. "Maybe if you talk to him…" she said, and then she shrugged. "You two will become friends."

"Yeah, sure." I said with a snort. How could I become friends with a bully? I froze at the thought. What if everyone would think I was a bully, now that I punched him? I tried to shake away the thought. "If we do become friends he'll… he'll…"

"Yes?" Jamie encouraged me to go on, but I didn't want to.

"He'll know I exist." I blushed shamefully. Even though I did like him, the thought that he'd notice me every single day scared me a little bit. I knew he did notice me now, but he didn't notice _me_. He noticed the _person_ who ruined his Christmas gag.

"Well then," Jamie said with another smile. "Welcome to existence."


	7. Chapter Seven

**_BTW: I just noticed that it says: Introduction, Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Four… ect. Sorry about that. I messed up that chapter count because of the intro lol._**

**Chapter Seven:**

I got quite a shock before the play. I started to get very nervous before I had to go on, even though I didn't have any lines. I didn't like having all those eyes on me. The only reason I did this play was to have something to do after school for the winter. My mother also thought it would help my social skills. Now that I was about to go onstage, I didn't want to do it anymore.

Jamie spoke to me just before I was about to go to give me confidence. It didn't work that well, but seeing her smile made me decide that I had to at least go out there. All I had to do was walk to the other side. Jamie gave me one last mysterious smile, and then I had to go.

At least I wasn't the only one stage. There were a few others. I sung quietly with the others, and then I took a glance out at the crowd. At first I didn't see anything that I didn't expect to see. I was about to look away when my heart quickened and a lump caught in my throat. My jaw almost dropped, but I made sure it was clenched shut as I looked at the back row. Standing up near the door, leaning against it and looking thoughtfully up at the stage, was Will.

He saw me and smiled. Not the usual smirk, not the trickster grin. Just a nice smile. I forced myself to smile, and I found that once I did it, it was easy. I looked away, and for the first time in my life, I felt alive in front of people. I saw Jamie come through the door, and she waved. Of course I couldn't wave back, but I smiled. She stood next to Will, her hands folded together in front of her. Will looked over at her and they exchanged looks. Then I left the stage. It wasn't much of a part. I was only an extra- a person walking home after I finished my Christmas shopping.

Jamie treated me as if I was the star of the play. It made me a little embarrassed, but I was suddenly finding myself in a whole new mood. I wasn't happy enough to do anything dramatic or surprising, but my mouth opened and sound came out more often than it used to. I personally think it was a mixture of the Christmas cheer, the decorations, the tears spilled at the end, the blinding lights- and the fact that Will was there, that made me feel this way. It was like nothing I ever experienced. I was suddenly glad that the stolen props hadn't ruined the play.

After a while Jamie started to push me towards where Will had been standing all night. People were starting to leave, but he stayed, which surprised me. "Remember," she whispered. "There's nothing wrong with saying hi."

I took a deep breath headed his way, but slowly. I acted as if I was about to leave, but was taking time to look at the decorations. I stopped a few feet away from him, hoping he would be the first to say something. I felt myself start to blush.

He finally started to move, just as slowly as I had. He headed over, but acted as if he was going to pass me. Maybe we were more alike than we thought.

"Hey…" he said, just before he passed. He stopped next to me, but we remained facing different directions. We both felt Jamie's eyes on us. The thought of it made a smile creep up on my face, and I had to try hard not to laugh.

"Hi." I managed to say. I started to fiddle with a Christmas bracelet around my wrist that Jamie had made for me. It was a present for being so brave.

"Interesting bracelet." he said.

"Thank you." It was a few moments before I spoke again. "Did you like the play?"

He cleared his throat, and I realized what a strange topic it was for us. The only reason he started talking to me was because he found out I had figured out that he took the props. He wanted to ruin this play.

Thinking of that, I remembered how I punched him. I winced at the thought. Wasn't he mad at me? I couldn't imagine why he came here to watch the whole play, and then stand here, looking nervous. I would have expected him to punch me back.

"It was-" he started to say, but before I could stop myself I started to talk again.

"I'm sorry I punched you." I said quickly but softly. I almost thought he didn't hear me, but then he started to shake his head.

"No," he then started to laugh a little, which surprised me. "It was one heck of a punch."

He laughed, but I was suddenly too nervous to laugh. We turned towards each other, finally, but we didn't look into each other's faces yet. He looked at his shoes, and I looked at my bracelet. "I should be sorry," he said finally. I saw him move, and it looked as if a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. Had he been feeling guilty? "I'm sorry… about all those things I did… it was just…"

"It's okay." I said quickly.

"No. I just wanted to say that you shouldn't take it seriously. It wasn't… It wasn't meant to be anything serious… It was just one of the stupid things guys like me do."

I smiled as he tried to explain, and he seemed relieved when he saw me. It felt so strange to see him like this. Most of the time I saw him punching someone, and then laughing about it.

"I'll forgive you." I said without even thinking. What was I thinking? What if this was all a trick and he'd make fun of me again tomorrow? I looked over at Jamie, who just smiled and looked away.

"Really? That easily?" he asked, looking just as surprised as I felt.

"Well, I always thought that we never give people the chance to change or give ourselves the chance to find the good in people unless we forgive," I said. I let him think about what I said before I quietly added, "We might be missing someone great if we don't forgive."

There was another moment of silence until Will tried again. "And about what happened in the cafeteria..." he began. I learned from Jamie that it was good to be patient. I looked up at his face for the first time. "I'm… sorry for that too… You're…"

It took me only a few seconds to realize what he wanted to say. I started to blush, and he even looked a little embarrassed to say it. He tried to say it again, but he was too embarrassed. He looked at me, as if to check and see if I was looking at him as if he was crazy, but I wasn't. Our eyes locked, and smiles started to appear on our faces. It was then that we shared our first laugh together.

Will checked his watch as we laughed, and he ran his hand through his hair. His beautiful hair…

"I have to get going." he said as our laughter faded, though our smiles stayed.

"Yeah, I should go too." We exchanged nods and smiles, and turned our separate ways. We were almost out of eye sight of each other when Will turned around again and grabbed my shoulder. I sucked in a quick breath, and I started to feel overwhelmed. He turned me around and took me away from the crowd of people.

"I just wanted to say something before I left." he said.

"What is it?"

"You're not a bad kisser at all- and that's the truth." he smiled, and finally left.

It was a long time before we talked again. Our lives went back to normal, except I think a lot of people wanted more tricks played on me. I had a wide eye now, and most of the people who tried to trip me were astonished while I just stepped over their outstretch leg while reading a book at the same time. After a while I felt a little disappointed. That night I got my first glimpse of hope that maybe Will and I could get together. Now it was gone.

Jamie was the one who encouraged him in February. I had no warning about this, so when I walked towards the school with a pile of books in my arms, I was quite startled by the whole event. There he was, sitting with his friends, not even noticing as I came closer to him. Just as I passed him I heard his voice.

"Nice pile of books." he said. I blinked, stopped, and looked over at him, a little taken aback. His friends were chuckling a little bit, and he had one of his smirks on. I started to feel disappointed. I was just about to lower my eyes in embarrassment when I noticed that Will's smirk was different. It wasn't the smirk leading to a trick. It looked… friendly… It was a playful but nice smile.

"Thank you." I said softly, with a smile of my own.

"Do you need help carrying them?"

This shocked me even more. I looked left and right, wondering why Will wanted to help me in front of all these people. What would they think of him? "No," I said, though I suddenly felt empty and disappointed when I said it. "It's all right. Thank you for asking, though."

I gave him a shy smile and turned around. I didn't look to see if he was disappointed or not, but he didn't come after me. I let out a sigh of disappointment. Why didn't I just let him do it? He did ask… maybe he really did want to help me…


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight:**

Every so often Will would ask me again if I needed help with my books, and again I would decline it. I don't know what's going on… it just slipped out of my mouth before I even thought about it. Then, eyes downcast, I would walk away. I tried to ask Jamie what I should do, but I kept feeling too embarrassed to mention it. This went on for two whole months until the most astonishing moment of my whole life occurred. I would remember it for the rest of my life, and I'm sure that Will will remember it too.

I was walking home again after spending an afternoon in the library. The clouds were dark, and I was trying to hurry home before it rained. I was preceding well, and it looked as if the clouds would hold until I got home. When I passed the graveyard, however, I saw a sight that made me stop.

Will was standing there, all alone. No friends of his- or missing props- were with him. He looked lost in thought, staring at all the graves. Taking another look up at the sky, I thought he should be heading home. He made no intention of moving, though. Looking in the direction of home, I thought for a long time. Should I go in there and warn him? In the end, I did.

He was surprised to see me. "Maria? Shouldn't you be home by now?"

"I was at the library." I tried to smile as I lifted a few books. He didn't smile. He looked sad. Maybe it was just because he was in a graveyard…

"It looks like it'll rain soon," I said softly, tilting my head so I could see his face better. "Shouldn't you head home?"

"I think clearer when I get wet." was all he said. He looked away for a few moments, but I stood there patiently. I wasn't leaving until he decided to go home. I didn't want him to sit in the rain for the rest of the night. Everything seemed all right as I stared at him, admiring his way of standing… admiring his eyes… his shoulders… his… everything. The moment was broken when Will finally faced me and asked, "Why didn't you let me help you? With the books, I mean."

I stepped back a little, as I sometimes do when I'm surprised. I started twisting and fumbling with my fingers nervously, trying to find the right answer in my head. "I…I didn't want to embarrass you… I mean… you never wanted to be nice to me in front of everyone before…"

"But I asked you… didn't that mean anything? Didn't you think that I wanted to?"

For a moment I didn't say anything. I started to hear other noises around us, and I knew it would be raining soon. "I…I don't know… I couldn't say anything that I wanted to say… with everyone else watching us."

He walked closer to me and looked at me in the eyes. "What would you say if I asked you right now?"

"Ask me what?" I asked stupidly. I admit it… there were times when I was a little slow. He didn't seem to mind, though.

He just smiled like he had before, and pointed to my pile of books. "Do you need help carrying them?" I smiled and looked down at my feet, then at the books.

"Yes. I do."

He took half of the stack of books, and we started to walk around the graveyard, forgetting about the rain and dark clouds above us. I was glad that the clouds decided to hold a little while longer.

"So, Maria," Will asked after we walked a few strides in silence. "There's something I've been waiting to ask you."

My heart suddenly started thumping in my chest. Who knew what he was going to ask? What if it was the question I had always dreams of?

"What did you think of me before this whole mess started?"

I frowned. Did he call it a mess? I hoped this wasn't a trick. "Well, I-"

"Now be honest." he ordered.

I gulped. "Well, I…I liked you a lot… even though we never talked and you never knew who I was. I thought you were really mean, but I couldn't help it." I breathed out cautiously, hoping I wasn't hurting his feelings or anything. He didn't seem offended.

"Yeah… I was a big bully, wasn't I…"

"A little…"

He laughed at me, and then we fell into another silence. We walked step in step, his hands were in his pockets while mine were twisted together in a nervous knot.

"I never thought you'd ever talk to me." I whispered. For a long while I thought he didn't hear me, and I was too nervous to repeat it. Finally, he dismissed my thoughts.

"I never thought I'd meet a girl like you either," he said. "Or a girl like Jamie."

Jamie… My best friend… one of the nicest people I had ever met. "Do you talk a lot?"

"Yeah," he confessed. "She makes me think a lot."

"What about me?" I asked cautiously. Now he had to tell me the truth.

"What?"

"What about me?" I repeated.

There was a moment of silence, and for a moment I thought he didn't know what to say. "You make me think too… I think about you a lot. I was trying to get to know you by asking to carry your books… We would walk together and it seemed easier to talk to you that way…"

"Like right now?"

He nodded. "Like right now."

He took a moment to look at the books I got from the library. We walked in silence for a little while longer, and I looked around at the graves we passed. I wondered if he knew anyone who was buried here.

"So you like to read?"

"Yes."

"What's your favorite book?"

"I can't choose one." I said, laughing sheepishly. It felt so strange to walk and talk with him for some reason.

"I've never read a book in my life." he confessed.

"Oh…" For a few agonizing moments, I didn't know what to say. All those years dreaming about him, and I had nothing to say. I looked down at the ground in despair. All in a flash of light, I felt lost, even though he was right next to me. Would I ever feel comfortable around him?

"So…" he started up again. "What has Jamie done for you?"

"She's been really nice to me… she's been trying to boost my self confidence… And I think she's been trying to get me to talk to you too."

"Of course she has," he smiled. "How come you have no self confidence?"

"How come you didn't have anything nice to say to me before all this happened?" I was surprised myself by the question. It didn't even feel like I said it. It felt like someone else.

"I deserved that… I wasn't making it any easier for you, was I…"

"Not really."

He ran through his hair and stopped. I almost kept on walking, but, luckily, I saw him stop and I stopped a few footsteps away. He turned towards me, but I could see that he was thinking, so I waited patiently. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you so much." He finally said. "You should have a lot of confidence in yourself."

"It's not your fault." I said honestly, looking down at my feet. "I guess the person I was chosen to be turned out that way."

"And the person I was chosen to be turned out to be a bully." He stared straight at my face for the first time that day, waiting for me to raise my face and look straight at him. Only when I started to feel rain did I look up.

"I think we should head home." I said as I looked up at the sky. In the corner of my eye I saw Will frown, but in the end he agreed.

When we were finally out on the sidewalk and out from underneath the trees, the rain started to come down as hard as it could, and the wind started to blow. I laughed as he took my hand and we ran and ran, already soaked to the bone. I suddenly felt alive. I loved the feeling so much that I wanted Will to feel it too.

"Will?" I screamed over the sound of the wind. I came to the halt and stared up at him.

"Yeah?" he screamed back.

"Do you think we could change who we were chosen to be?"

"What do you mean?"

I pulled my wet hair away from my face. "What I mean to say is… Do you think you and I could change from the shy and the mean into something… more?" For a moment he stared at me, wide eyed, the rain dripping down his face. "Jamie said she was praying for us." I yelled. "I prayed for you too!"

For a split second I thought Will was crying. After a second of shock, I realized it was just the rain. I waited for his answer, but he didn't say anything. I stood there helplessly, wondering what I should do or say. It wasn't until a couple seconds later that I saw the answer in his eyes. _What could I possibly become?_

Suddenly I felt upset. I felt even more upset than I did after I punched Will. Back then I was upset for myself, but now I was upset for him. "Will…" I said softly, and I wondered if he could hear me. "Will… you told me I should have confidence in myself… Don't you have any for _you_?"

"I _do_," he finally said. "But I was the bully- the big guy on the block- for so long… and then Jamie…" he paused. "And you… It's really confusing."

"Welcome to my world."

"What?"

"I said," I tried to scream as loud as I could. "Welcome to my world."

He smiled a little, and then I felt his hand fold around mine. He led me down the sidewalk, and led me to my house. How did he know where it was? He let me as close as to the steps leading to the door, but then he stopped and smiled at me.

Now we're back at the beginning. I tugged at my hair, waiting for him to say or do something. I started to calm down as he kissed me. Everything felt so right as he buried his hands deep in my hair. The kiss was much deeper and meaningful than our first kiss. Not even the rain could make this a sad moment. _I like the rain…_ I thought.

He held me as we stood outside in the rain. We made a silent vow that we'd help each other, somehow, become something more than what we believed we were. Jamie was probably right; All of this was part of God's plan. But what, I asked myself, was next in God's plan? What did he want us to do? I had no idea.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine:**

Jamie smiled at me as we looked through the library. I started to feel uncomfortable while she kept staring at me. "What?"

"I'm just happy for you," she said simply with a bigger smile. "You seem very happy with Will."

I smiled. "Yes, I am," I watched her put some of the books away, still with a smile on her face. Jamie helped me so much, and I had a feeling I'd need more of her help in the future. "Thank you, Jamie."

"For what?" she laughed as if she had no idea what I was talking about. I tilted my head and smiled shyly.

"You know… For everything you did… You're my best friend, you know."

"I'll always help you," she said, and I believed her. "And you'll help me, right?" she asked quietly.

"Of course!" I said, a little surprised, to be honest. Jamie almost sounded… scared. The look quickly evaporated, though, and she was smiling again. For a moment it was silent again as we shoved books back in the shelves, and I wondered what Jamie was thinking. I became so deep in thought that I didn't hear the door open. Nothing seemed to be about to shake me awake. Nothing but Will's voice.

"I thought I'd find you here." he said, and even though I didn't see him, I could tell he was smiling. I exhaled slowly, suddenly starting to feel a little emotional. Ever since Will and I took that walk, I started to feel different every time I saw him. I didn't feel the shy, school girl feelings someone feels when they have a crush on someone. I felt like I could deeply trust him, like how I trusted Jamie.

Will came up from behind me and kissed me on the cheek. "Hi Jamie." he said happily. He was truly transformed. A few months ago, no one would imagine Will walking up to two girls like us, and start being _nice_. I wondered what his friends thought of him now. I put the last book on the shelf and turned toward him, smiling. Just a moment before I felt like Will had already accomplished his mission, but when I turned and looked at his face, that feeling went away. Now I felt like there was still one more thing Will needed to do. One more thing we both needed to do.

"Hey, Maria, I wanted to ask you something…"

"Yes?" my heart leapt. Maybe this was it. Only time would tell.

"There's a dance at school next week, and I was wondering if you would want to go? With me?"

I suddenly felt like I was melting into a puddle at my feet. I had never gone to one of those dances before. I had always thought I'd be invisible there. I knew no one would notice me. Now Will, the boy I never thought would notice me wanted to go with me. "Sure." I said quickly. I didn't want to make a stupid mistake and pass up a perfect moment with Will again. "I've never been to one before, though." Ever since that walk, I found myself telling Will the truth more often.

"You'll love it," he said with a smile, and then he took my hand. "I promise." In the corner of my eye I saw Jamie watching us, and for a moment I swear she looked like she was going to cry. It wasn't the type of tears you cried when you were sad. It was the tears you cry when you were happy.

"Oh, Honey! You look so beautiful!" My mother stood in front of me, clapping her hands together as she looked at me from my toes to the top of my head. She looked like she was going to cry as well. Jamie was over too, as I had asked her. I was so nervous about going to the dance, and I wanted her with me before I left to go. She could always make me feel better. She herself seemed delighted about the whole idea. I think it was because she hoped the dance would bring out the ambition in me, if I had any. She stood beside my mother, looking just as happy.

I was wearing a new dress, a beautiful shade of red, my favorite color. Half of my hair was pinned up in the back and curled. I could feel it bounce when I moved. My mother put only a little make up on me, but she knew I wasn't the type to wear too much. I smiled and took their word for it. I skipped looking in the mirror and went right to the door, where there was a knock. Jamie and my mother followed me towards it, but stopped a few steps towards it.

When the door opened I saw a very handsome Will standing there, but it was quite a shock. I'm sure he never dressed this nice when he went to dances. Sometimes at Cecil's Diner I heard girls talked about Will and what he did at the dance, and I never pictured him like this.

"You like it, huh?" he said with another mysterious smile. He took a moment to look at me, and he looked breathless. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I said, blushing slowly. It felt strange to hear so many people say I was beautiful. It was almost more than I could take in one night. "Oh, you can come on in." I packed into the room and let him step inside. My mother exchanged a few handshakes and smiles with him.

"It's so nice to finally meet you." she said to him, and he nodded.

"It's nice to meet you, too," he turned to me. "You have a beautiful daughter."

I blushed again, and I felt a familiar feeling as he took my hand in his. I said my good byes, whispered to Jamie that I'd tell her all about it when we got back, and before I knew it, we were out the door.

To be perfectly honest, I was a little worried about how the other students might react when they saw us together. Maybe they would think it was a joke. Maybe Will wanted them to think it was a joke? Or maybe he didn't care if anyone saw us together or not.

It was Will who dragged me inside. I couldn't make myself go inside by myself… I was too nervous. I don't think he noticed my refusal to go in, because he wasn't looking in my direction as he talked to a few other people at the door, but once he got inside he turned all his attention to me. "I'm glad you came." he said softly to me.

I tried to smile. "I'm a little nervous."

"Don't worry," he said as if he expected this. "This will be fun."

I only nodded and started to look at the decorations, trying not to look nervous or stupid. I didn't like standing there doing nothing, but I didn't want to go out and dance either. Not in front of everyone else.

I felt Will slip an arm around my shoulder as we watched other couples start to dance, and it wasn't long until he popped the question on me. "Would you like to dance?"

I gulped. "Sure."

He smiled and steered me towards the middle of the dance floor. For some reason I felt as if his attention was on something else. I'm not sure what it was… He kept looking the other way- at least he was looking the other away until we got to the middle of the floor. "Now, since you're never danced before… I'll lead, and you can follow." The few first minutes were the time for learning. He made sure I knew where to put my hands, and where to put my feet so I didn't step on his, you know; Simple things like that. Soon I started to feel myself start to calm down. This wasn't hard. It was fun.

I leaned against him and sighed, letting out the last bits of my worries. I heard him sigh too, as if my touch calmed him down as well. I smiled at the thought of that.

Not even a sudden burst of laughter distracted me from our dance. We held onto each other for several seconds, lost in thought, feeling each other physically and mentally, until we realized the laughing was directed at us. For a split second I thought they were laughing at Will for dancing with me, but when I turned around realized that the laughing had come from Will's friends, who appeared to be drunk, walking our way.

"Hey, Will, we've got the liquor!" one of them said loudly. Another one started to shush him. "You'll get us caught, you idiot!" he then slapped the other boy upside the head.

"Liquor?" I gave a terrified look over at Will. Was he going to do something bad again? Then my shoulders sagged. I should have known. A boy like Will couldn't go too long without doing something bad. I started to feel disappointed, but a voice in my head said, "Why don't you give the boy a chance?" It was right. I should be trusting Will. All I had to do was wait, and time would tell me what he'd do.

Will seemed to sense my nervousness as I realized what they were planning to do. I had heard talk about Will's group doing things like this at every dance. They liked to see all of the students get drunk without realizing it. I also heard they never got caught.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" Will said angrily. The slow music stopped, and something faster was beginning to play. He smiled at me. "Watch this." He said to me with a wild grin. I couldn't help but let out a yelp of curiousness as I looked at the wild grin. I suddenly felt alive again, just like I had in the rain. The music was feeding me power. I watched as Will started up a faster dance, and waited until he wanted me to follow in his footsteps. In only a matter of seconds, we were lost in our own world of dances, and we had forgotten about the drunken boys standing next to us, watching us stupidly.

Only when the song came to an end and my dress stopped twirling around did they remember what they were doing here. "Hey, didn't you hear us?" one of his friends asked.

"Didn't you hear me? I said I was busy." Will snapped. I don't think his friend realized how much he was shouting.

"Well, you're not busy now! Come on before someone suspects us."

"Nope, there's another song playing and I have a date to dance with." Will drew me in closer again, so close that our faces were almost touching.

One of the boys waved carelessly at me. "You can leave her for just a second," he hiccupped. "Who the hll is she anyway?"

Will turned me around, but I suddenly didn't feel comfortable about letting three drunken boys stare at me. I knew I was perfectly safe, however, when Will slipped his arm around my back again.

One of them gaped at us, blinking as if he thought he vision was betraying him, and it probably was, in a sense. His vision was probably blurry. "Is that who I think it is?"

"Yeah yeah yeah, the one who punched me last year… who really cares? Why don't you get your (butts) out of here before you do something stupid?" he finally turned his attention away from them, ignoring their looks of betrayal.

I'm not sure if the three boys really spiked the punch bowl or not, but neither of us went for a drink. I didn't ask about it either… not even how they got the beer in the first place. All I wanted to talk about was how great it was to finally dance. I sighed and rested my forehead on his forehead. "I love to dance," I said. "I could dance all night." We smiled at each other until Will looked down at his watch.

"Too bad. We have to leave."

"Leave? Right now?"

"Yep." Without saying anything else, he took my hand and led me outside. We sat silently in the car, and I started to feel disappointed again. I liked it better when we were dancing. Last year I never would have had the nerve to dance in front of other people- especially that fast. I sighed, remembering the experience.

After a while I realized that he wanted driving towards my house. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"You'll see."

I suddenly gulped, but only in a nervous way. Will must have a surprise for me. What could it be?

We slowly came to a stop in front of a house, which at first I thought was his house, but when I looked at the house number I knew it couldn't be his house. Everyone knew his street number. "Where-"

"Shhh…"

He went around the car and opened my door for me. "Thank you." I whispered, but he still warned me to stay quiet. Wondering what was going on, I followed him up the stairs.

When we were halfway towards the door, I started to hear soft music playing. I gave Will a quizzical look, but he shook his head. What was he doing? The questions burned in my mind and heart, but he wouldn't answer me.

Finally he led me through the door where more soft music was playing. It was so beautiful that I almost sighed out loud, but I decided against it. Thinking that we were the only ones in the house, I was quite startled when someone dressed as a waitress appeared in the room with a friendly smile.

"Come right in and sit down." se said softly with a smile. In the corner of my eye I saw her nod to Will, and then I saw him nod back. Who was she? How did they know each other?

She led us to another room where the music was playing as if we were in a restaurant, but there wasn't a table or chairs. Every place Will took me seemed to surprise me. The woman left as with another smile, as if she had seated us well.

Will looked around the room in satisfaction before he turned to me and took both of my hands. He folded them together and held them between his own, and lifted them up to our chests. "I wanted to surprise you with this." He said, and I saw a twinkle in his eye. A twinkle like the twinkle I saw in Jamie's eyes.

The 'waitress' came back into the room, but she wasn't empty handed. This time she was holding a very large plate, with a cover on top. Peculiar. I didn't smell anything good, and we both already had dinner. All of this was very strange.

She handed the plate to Will, who waited until she was out of the room to open it. "Why don't you open it?" he said, more like an order than a question. I shrugged and took off the tope. Expecting something like sandwiches or something, but instead, there was nothing.

Or at least I thought there was nothing. In the middle of the plate was a very small box. He watched me as I gaped at it stupidly. It was a very nice box, but I didn't know why it was there.

"You can open that too." Will said. I blushed, feeling foolish as I took the small box from the plate. As I untied a ribbon around the box, Will placed the dish on the floor. I felt his eyes bore into me as I opened the box and peeked inside.

I gasped. Inside was a beautiful ring. That was strange. Was Will going to ask me to marry him? I looked up at him curiously. Why would he ask such a question so soon? We weren't even girlfriend and boyfriend, really. Not yet at least.

He took the ring outside of the box and slipped it on my finger slowly, letting the image sink into our memory. Then, with one of the quietest voices I had ever heard him talk in, he said, "Will you be my girlfriend, Maria?"

I was shocked speechless when he finally asked. To tell the truth, I never thought Will would actually as me. I thought we might date for a little while, but then he'd find someone new, and I might find someone new. You never know what the future holds, right? I never thought this would happen.

"If you do, then this ring reflects our hope for each other," he took another ring out of his pocket. "No, we're not getting married," he said with a laugh, as if he had read my mind. "At least not yet."

It was another few moments before I could speak again. "Yes…" I said in a shaky but happy voice. "Wow… they are so beautiful." I said as I looked at the rings. We smiled and stared into each other's eyes while fiddling with the rings. "Who's house is this?" I asked, trying to break the silence, even though it was nice. All I suddenly wanted to do was talk to him- and kiss him.

"This is my aunt's, actually. I don't live with her, but she likes when I visit. She loved the idea of using her house."

I nodded. "It's a beautiful house."

"Jamie actually helped me a lot with this," he confessed after a few moments of silence. "She said you'd love to be surprised."

I nodded. "I do like to be surprised." I said.

"Did I surprise you?"

I started to laugh, and I took his hand. "You still surprise me- every single day."


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten:**

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!" Will grinned as he let himself inside my house and started to kiss me. I tried to get him to stop long enough for us to talk a little bit, but it was no use. I reached for his present and held it behind me, waiting for someone to take it. Jamie, still smiling whenever she saw us, was the one who did.

"Hello, Will." she said, as if she didn't notice that he had his hands buried in my hair again and was kissing me for dear life.

When Will heard her voice he immediately pulled away and stepped away, smiling sheepishly. "Hey, Jamie."

She smiled again and headed back towards the kitchen to put my present with the other group of presents for me. Will smiled after Jamie, but when he rounded the corner he came up close to me again and rubbed his fingers softly on my cheeks. "Eighteen years old today, eh?"

"Yes…" I said, dragging on the word as I looked around the room and bit my lip excitedly. I still felt strange that Will was my boyfriend. I loved everything about it, but it felt strange.

We stood in the hallway close together, whispering and discussing what we wanted to do. First we were going to have a small party with my mother and Jamie (my father was out with his friends), but afterwards Will wanted to take me out to see a drive-in movie, in which even he was surprised to hear I never went to before. I agreed that I would go, but I told him he had to let me talk to Jamie before I left.

"So, how is your aunt?" Jamie asked politely as we all sat down around the birthday dinner. Of course, even Will's aunt knew who Jamie was.

"She's great," he said. "She's really cool about me moving in." Jamie smiled, but my mother looked shocked.

"What do you mean?" she asked, putting down her fork as she usually did when she was shocked or upset by a certain conversation. I felt my face turn red as I avoided everyone's gaze. Will shifted in his chair.

"Well, a few weeks ago I started packing all my things so I could move in there…" he tried to explain.

"But what about your parents?"

I felt uncomfortable seeing Will uncomfortable. He never looked that way, and sometimes she thought it was impossible to make him nervous or unsettled. "I decided to move out because… well, I didn't think that they had a very good environment around them…" He looked across the table at Jamie.

I, of course, knew all about this. Ever since April, all three of us became a very tight group, which no one would have expected. We all admitted things to each other that we thought we'd never let out into the open, and now we were helping Will get his life together. Although, there was a part of this between Jamie and I that Will didn't know about, and I was starting to feel a little guilty.

"Jamie, I'm thinking about telling him about our thoughts on our date." I said to her nervously in my room as Will waited for me downstairs. Jamie nodded.

"I think that is fine." she said, smiling her usual smile of hope.

"I just… I don't know how to explain it…"

"How would you explain it to me?" Jamie sat on my bed and stared up at me, waiting. "He doesn't have all night, you know." I saw her wink, and I almost laughed. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.

I sucked in a breath and exhaled. "Well, to you I would say that I've been thinking something is missing. Not just thinking, but feeling. I feel that there's something left that we must do, that we're not doing."

"That sounds wonderful," Jamie said, clapping her hands in delight. 'Maybe if you talk to him about it, you'll figure out what it is."

I don't know how she knew, but she was right. Jamie was right about everything. Will and I sat in the car together, and a half hour after Will put his arm around me and started to kiss me, I let it out.

"Missing? What could possibly be missing?" he said, leaning his head against mine while staring at the movie screen. "I feel that I have all the treasures in the world now." He smiled to himself, and then at me.

I didn't smile. I sat next to him and thought, suddenly not understand what I was trying to say. If he felt that he completed his mission in life, then why did I feel like something was missing?

Will saw my expression and turned me toward him. "Is something bothering you?" he held my hands between his. "Do you need something?"

After a few minutes that felt like hours, I nodded. "Maybe I do…"

He looked at me curiously. "What do you think it is?" I stared at him, unable to give him an answer. I had him, after years of wanting him; I had Jamie, after years of not having a single friend in the world; I had a little hope, after years of doubting myself.

"I want to feel complete." I finally said. I watched in despair as he suddenly looked disappointed, and he leaned back.

"You don't feel complete?" he didn't say what he really meant, but I knew it all the same. I could see it in his eyes. All I knew was, I didn't want him to think that way. I moved around until he was able to hold me in both of his arms, and then I hoped that he would. I hoped he didn't feel too upset to push me away. Luckily, he wasn't, and I felt warm as he hugged his arms around me.

"It's not about you," I said truthfully. "Remember when we were talking about me having no self confidence? I think that has something to do with it."

"I thought you were doing well with that." he said, sounding confused. I sighed and tried to explain.

"Last week I had to give a speech in my class and I was so nervous that I was shaking and my voice was too low. I thought no one would like my speech." I lowered my eyes in dismay.

"I'm sure they would have liked it."

"They all laughed at me."

He was silent for a while, and I listened to the movie instead. I couldn't stand the silence. Finally, Will took hold of my hands again, and touched my ring. "I know that you are an amazing person beneath all that shame- other people just don't see that, because you don't let them."

"How do I let them?" I asked so softly, that for a moment I didn't think he heard me. We sat there, cheek to cheek, staring at the movie for the rest of the time we spent there. After a while I started to fall asleep, but I found myself thinking about the Christmas play drawing near. _I can't believe this all started almost a year ago…_

My eyes started to droop, and I imagined the scene where I saw Will in the back row near the doors again. I tried to picture what I looked up there, but as I did I got an idea. A brilliant idea. I sat bolt right up so fast that Will thought something was wrong. He clung onto me, just in case. "What is it? What happened?"

"Hey, the movie is over?" I asked, suddenly distracted. When I saw Will's expression, I shook off the question. "I have an idea…"

"I think this is what God wanted us to do, Jamie." I said excitedly after I called Jamie.

"What is it?" she asked patiently, though I knew she was dying to know. Slowly, I sucked in a breath and then let it go. I bit my tongue as I tried to build up my courage. Finally, I said it out loud.

"I think Will and I should be the stars of the play this year." There was a sudden silence, but I knew Jamie must have been smiling. I could almost picture her. Finally, I heard her whisper.

"All part of the Lord's plan."


End file.
